Are you worried about getting a Massage? Let’s Talk About It.

Let’s be honest: the idea of lying semi-naked under a towel while a stranger pummels your knots can feel slightly daunting. Add in the British obsession with apologising for existing (“Sorry about my … everything), it’s no surprise some people think, I’d rather climb Mount Everest in ballet slippers than subject a therapist to my [insert perceived flaw here].”

Here’s the truth:  I’ve seen it all—and I mean that in the least dramatic way possible

Common Fears (Debunked with Zero Judgement)

·       “I’m too… lumpy/bony/imperfect”.  → Massage therapists aren’t judging your body; we’re reading its story (tight shoulders? Wonky hips? That’s what we do!). Your “flaws” are just clues to how we can help.

·       “What if I… fart?”  → Let’s normalise this: bodies gurgle, twitch, and sometimes parp. It’s physiology, not a personal failing. (Pro tip: if you’re really worried, avoid spicy lunches—but even then, I’ll pretend I heard nothing … even if it’s me!)

·       “I’ll just… hold my breath and hope you don’t notice my [insert body part].”  → Spoiler: I’m too busy locating your tension patterns to critique anything else. My focus is on your comfort not your cellulite.

·       “What if I… sweat/fidget/snore?”  → Congrats, you’re human. I’ve had clients fall asleep mid- sentence (flattering), stomachs growl like angry badgers (hilarious), and yes, the occasional accidental fart (universal). No shock. No shame.

·       “I know Jonny – it’d be weird him seeing my [insert body part].” → It’s only weird, if you want to make it weird. I’m interested in making you feel as good and relaxed as possible. With the greatest respect, you’re a bunch of muscles and bones!

Why Your Body Confidence Doesn’t Need to Hold You Back

Massage isn’t a beauty contest—it’s healthcare with a side of chill. Your body is just the vehicle you arrived in, and my job is to help it run smoother, not grade its aesthetics.

You’re in control: Draping (the towel covering) stays in place, and you can undress to your comfort level.

No silent suffering: Speak up if you’re cold, ticklish, or just need a breather. This is your time.

Still nervous? That’s okay! We can chat first—no pressure. Book a call or drop me an email

Bottom line: However you feel about your body today, it deserves care—not criticism. And I’m here to help, not hover with a scorecard.

P.S. If you’ve been putting off massage because of self-consciousness, take this as your sign to give it a go. Just get in touch